Field Trip
by chipofmintchocolate
Summary: Leave it to Stephanie Brown to think up the most awkward way possible to introduce Dick's fiancée to the rest of the Bat family: a mandatory trip to the zoo.


**Disclaimer: **Nope, not mine.

**Pairing:** Traught and some TimSteph

**Characters:** Dick, Artemis, Stephanie, Jason, Damian, Cass, Tim, Barbs and maybe Bruce and Alfred

**Note:** A while back, an anon suggested I write an "Artemis meets the family" fic, but I didn't get around to it at the time. I wasn't thinking of their prompt when I first thought of this idea yesterday, but it conveniently fulfills their request! It's also my first time writing Steph, Jason, Damian, Cass, and Tim, so bear with me!

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**Part 1: Stephanie Makes Plans**

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"But it's a great idea!"

"No." Dick rubbed a spot above his eyebrow as a splitting headache began to form in his scull. "No, no, never, NO."

When Tim's girlfriend had dropped by Bludhaven for a visit, he hadn't surmised she would try to pull him into another of her harebrained schemes.

"Why? I'm just suggesting a trip to the zoo. Not a weeklong Batfam reunion in the Wayne mausoleum!" Stephanie Brown said with an exasperated wave of her hands. "You know it's my job to make sure all the birds experience the childhoods we were so unfortunate to miss, and maybe if we're lucky, to act like a _family_ at some point."

"Sometimes I love your can-do attitude, Steph, but let's be realistic. Some of our so-called 'Batfam,'" he punctuated the term with air quotes, "hasn't spoken to me in years, let alone expressed interest in meeting my girlfriend."

"Not just your girlfriend anymore, your _fiancée_."

He raised an eyebrow.

"There's an important difference," she insisted, arms crossed over her purple t-shirt, "and it's about time you introduced future Mrs. Grayson to the rest of the family."

"Have you even asked Artemis about this?" he asked, trying to divert the conversation. "She deserves a say."

"Well, duh. Of course! She said yes when we grabbed coffee together yesterday."

Ugh. Dick had no idea how Steph had roped his fiancée into this, but with Artemis on board, his hands were tied. Maybe he could convince Artemis to change the zoo trip to a dinner trip? In a public place with lots of witnesses? And maybe some armed guards surrounding the building in case Jason took a shining to exacting some "kill first, ask questions later" justice on some unsuspecting waiter?

Maybe he could try and bribe Artemis to tell Steph to call the whole thing off with a three-course homemade dinner…with a chocolate lava cake on top?

His headache's intensity increased as he mentally crossed off each of his possible "Steph zoo trip" escape routes. Who was he kidding? Artemis would never buy into the old "homemade food" bribery trick…

Steph sighed towards the heavens at Dick's torn expression.

"Look, I'm just trying to help _you_ prevent _your_ wedding from being the most awkward thing to happen in Gotham since Tim brought Kon to the Wayne Charity Ball, and everyone thought they were lovers."

"Who says we're having the wedding in…"

"Artemis. In the gazebo in Robinson's Park* if you haven't been paying attention."

Dick blinked in quick succession. Since when did brides decide on a venue a week after their fiancé purposed? Then again, this whole getting married thing was somewhat new to him. In earlier relationships, he had left the scene before marriage could come up as a topic.

"Even if I liked your plan in the first place, you know the only person who would show up would be Tim. And he would probably leave half-way through."

"That's not true. Tim actually might…"

"You're dating him. Of course he'll come. You could tell him to stand on his head for a day and he'd say yes."

After Tim and Steph had grown up a little and life had replaced a fraction of their stubbornness for maturity, they had allowed themselves to become friends again, and at some undesignated point in the relationship, fell in love. Dick had hoped Tim would come to his senses and realize what a catch Brown was, but knowing his adopted brother, he said nothing and allowed the kid to make up his mind for himself.

One unanticipated side effect of Tim and Steph's reestablished relationship (healthier and happier than it had been in the past) was Steph's increased presence in every Bat's life. Dick wasn't sure exactly how she did it, but over the last two years she had managed to become friends with even the most hostile among them. Sometimes he wondered if she should have sought a career in diplomacy or family counseling instead of the vigilante life.

Still trying to find some way out of this fix, he added, "In case you've forgotten, Gordon is also a part of this extended family, and inviting my ex-girlfriend to my fiancée's family meet-and-greet would be…not good."

"Pft," Steph snorted a laugh through her nose, "Do you really think your girlfriends could _ever _get over you, the Great Dick Grayson?"

"Um, yes?"

"That was sarcasm, dickhead." She rolled her eyes. "And FYI, Babs is dating a nice guy from town, and she moved on a loooong time ago. Sheesh, give her maturity some credit."

"Um, sorry?"

Steph's eyes narrowed and her bottom lip protruded into a slight pout. "You should be."

"Okay, having my old girlfriend, my mercenary adopted brother, Tim, Cass, and Bruce's porcupine of a son all in the same room aside, how are you even planning to get them to say yes?"

"I have my ways," Steph said with a suggestive waggle of her eyebrows.

He frowned, giving off a heavy sort of skepticism, but before he could open his mouth to say, "Let me talk to Artemis" which in other words meant "NO," Steph tried to save her cause.

"Look, maybe Jason will laugh in my face, Damian will threaten me with his knives, Cass will do her ninja disappearing thing, and Babs will make up some prior commitment. But if the impossible happens and they do all say yes, will you be game for it?"

Since Artemis had already agreed to it, Dick knew what his answer would have to be.

"…okay."

Her reaction was immediate. She whooped with joy, embraced him in a lung-crushing hug, and then ran off to get to business.

Dick hung back, dazed and wondering with more than a little trepidation what kind of mess he had gotten himself into. He hoped beyond hope Steph wouldn't be able to pull it off. All the past and present Robins and Batgirls hadn't willingly gathered in the same room…well…ever.

Why would they start now?

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***Robinson Park** — Gotham City's main park. Named for 1940s Batman artist and Joker co-creator Jerry Robinson.


End file.
